Wednesday, March 28, 2018

Ready Player One

Steven Spielberg used to make films that left you in awe. That isn't to say films like the Post aren't great, but it just isn't the Spielberg of old. What about stuff like The BFG? Well i wasn't a fan, well what about Tin Tin? Okay, yes it as a fun flick, but it did not leave me aweing. You want to know what did? Ready Player One! Is it a CGI fest? Yeah, but accept it. Is it daunting trying to find the easter eggs? A little, but i had fun doing it. Isn't this just a nerdy masturbatory flick? Yes it is. Isn't he whole nerd chic fan a little passee in this day & age? Sure is, but you have a master like Spielberg at the helm! Does he stroke his own dick? He sure as fuck does! This film has a ragtag group of fun characters including Oliva Cooke, style up the ass, Olivia Cooke, a great soundtrack, Olivia Cooke, Olivia Cooke being a badass, Olivia Cooke being adorable, Olivia Cooke's avatar being a badass, her avatar being hot, and it is just an all around fun flick! Do you like car chases? This film has it! Do you like horror? This film has it! Do you like kaiju battles? This film has it, and does it better that Pacific Rim could imagine. It has one of the best placed fucks of all time, and spoiler, it involves Chucky! Speaking of Chucky, let's talk horror! My horror hard on was cumming blood, elevators worth of blood for the Shinning scene. My buddy said he could feel my boner over that scene, i was laughing, geeking, clapping, humming. Oh and this film has a great "death" scene that pays tribute to a certain machine. This is easily my favorite Spielberg flick since Catch Me if You Can, but it is the most Spielbergish Spielberg film since the Lost World. I can't wait to see this again!

Mom & Dad

Brian Taylor appears to be the breakout star of Neveldine/Taylor, i liked Crank, but love Crank 2. To me that is their style, and most of their other films haven't been as batshit. and then Happy came along. Happy is one of if not the most batshit show on TV, hell it is one of the most batshit pieces of film on any medium. So when i read how awesome Mom & Dad was, i was stoked, hearing it is Nicholas Cage being as unhinged as ever, made me even more stoked. The film is crazy, as is Nic Cage, but he isn't that crazy in it, neither is the film for that matter. Moments of crazy sure, but this wasn't the batshit film i thought it would be. I even went in with expectations checked, but i still just only enjoyed it, i wanted to love it. For a film similar to this, go watch Mayhem, or fuck go watch the Signal(2007).

Sunday, March 25, 2018

High Maintenance Season 2

The web series was brilliant, the first season was aswell. I preferred the web series to both seasons and this one had an episode i found pretty damn bad, but with all of that said, damn, what a heartfelt & touching season. The episode in particular with the old man was so god damned good, it was heart wrenching. The season finale was really awesome, it was like hanging out with your buds. The show has brilliant dialogue, great satire & hilarious moments all with showing so much heart. Short seasons, fast paced episodes, such a great series, and a true cult show.

Portlandia the final season

Portlandia started off as this brilliant little sketch comedy series, it then caught on and basically became a sitcom. Once it hit sitcom status it lost it's satire. It originally was celebrating yet poking fun at hipsters & their passions, but it soon just tried being a sketch series without much direction. Most of this season lacked direction, but the second to last episode about the traveling trash can, reminded you of how brilliant the show was, it was a celebration of the series itself. The finale wasn't bad, but i wish the traveling trash was the true finale. I will miss this show, but the last season wasn't very strong.

Santa Clarita Diet Season 2

Season 2 had just as much gore as the first, possibly more humor, but ultimately may have been better. Drew Barrymore is adorable & cute & sexy in this and is fantastic in the role. Timothy Olyphant steals his scenes, fuck it so does Nathan Fillion. Liv Hewson is my crush, she is a badass! Skyler Gisondo keeps the old school nerd role feeling fresh in this. The satire of having the morale high ground is great, and the story is quie anxiety inducing. The final episode i wasn't sure how it would end, i am beyond satisfied with it, and it got me super excited for season 3. Religious elements, conspiracy theories & anarchistic, i am stoked!  This is a truly refreshing television series, and a super fast binge!

Saturday, March 24, 2018


Steven Soderbergh is a true experimental film maker, he can do big budget fair like Oceans 11, low budget pictures like The Girlfriend Experience, slap stick hilarity in Logan Lucky, and now here with a cheap 1 million dollar experiment in Unsane. A secret project shot on an I Phone, something i have been against however after seeing this brilliant horror gem, i am sold. It is is funny, i just bought a VHS Camera earlier today to shoot a slasher film, and i have been saying anyone with a phone can make a film these days and that they over saturate festivals but upon seeing the magic Soderbergh has unleashed i am not okay with the future. If the future gives us creepy, well acted and tense films like Unsane, then the future is bright!

Thursday, March 22, 2018

Pacific Rim Uprising

In 2013 Guillermo Del Toro unleashed his love of kaijus in the form of Pacific Rim, after that everyone seemed to know kaijus. Growing up i loved those type of flicks, but to me, PR, seemed more like a Transformers flick, and that is exactly what the sequel is too. I didn't love either, but both were fun & enjoyable. The plot is sort of contrived, the Jagers/military subplot sort of defeats the purpose of why everyone tries to make custom versions out of scraps or while kaiju skeletons are still in the streets. I suppose it goes to show the government is always working on shit, but still, i'll let is slide. The CHarlie Day turn was seen a mile away but felt like Jim Carrey as the Riddler. The leads are all good, and have great chemistry, their fun gives us fun, all you can really ask for it, still way better than any Transformers flick.

X Files

This was a mess of a season. It started off in such a cluster fuck of a way. It got good in the middle with the Twilight Zone episode, and even had a great episode with the cult killing, but almost everything else felt random, thrown together or pissed all over previous seasons. The finale, hopefully is the finale. Many refused to watch as they didn't want to tarnish the legacy, for them the show ended years ago. To them, i salute you, cause this season truly left a terrible taste in my mouth. I want to cut out shows anyhow, looks like this is one of them.

Thursday, March 15, 2018

Tomb Raider

Tomb Raider was a game i loved as a kid, i haven't really played any of the games much the last decade or so but i always had fond memories. None of my friends really bought the newer games, but new friends tell me they are great. Around the time i myself quit playing the games by myself was when the first Tomb Raider film came out, it was one of the worst films i have ever seen. I never saw the sequel.I tried rewatching the first flick prior to this one, i could not do it, i had to turn it off. This one looked terrible, yet i had a fun time with it. Is it too long? Yes. Do some scenes go on for too long? Yes. The acting is your basic blockbuster fare but everyone seems to be enjoying themselves. Is it Indiana Jones? Fuck no? Is it better than the Angelina Jolie joint? Fuck yes! I didn't love it, i wouldn't buy it, but i will gladly see a sequel.

Wednesday, March 14, 2018

Love the Final Season

This show did it right. No season was over 12 episodes, each episode was no more than 40 minutes, hell most were under 30, and they knew it would end at season 3. This is the most brutally honest show about relationships, family, friends, dating, sex, drugs, booze, you name it, it calls it out and shines a mirror. We are all fuck up. The cast is amazing, i love Gillian Jacobs, but man can she play a bitch. Co creator Paul Rust can so such an annoying cringe worthy little twerp, yet you love these characters. There are so many cringe worthy moments yet so many heartfelt ones too, this is a great series, i'm glad it is over but i am sad to see it end.

Sunday, March 11, 2018

Wrinkle In Time

This was a mess of a film. It begins in a hokey manner, it evolves to dated bullies, and then introduces us to some of the worst characters ever put on film. Oprah, Mindy & Reese are terrible in this, but no one is as bad as the child in this flick, i wanted to see him get slapped, like a legit slap that the DP filmed and the editor snuck in. They waste Michael Pena, the effects are tired, the script is not dull just very bland and it lacks imagination. This film seems like with the right screenplay & the right director this could have been an amazing tale, sadly we got a mess, not only a mess but a terrible film.


Hey guys, did you hear about that new movie that hit Netflix? That one that is supposed to be the scariest film in decades? The one a friend posted a Buzzfeed esque video of on Facebook? The one that brings in Millennials and the masses to make them seem hip by saying they've seen the scary Spanish horror film? Did you watch it? Perhaps. Did they? Nope. Guess what? It sucks! Films like this are why i don't like FB. People buy into anything, click bait articles, this is their film! 


Netflix produced yet another film, and this film wants to be Walking Dead. Do you love Walking Dead? Do you love the slow episodes that border on being pretentious & tedious? Love the characters walking? Walking without saying much? Walking, without saying much while having few zombies? Then this is the flick for you!

The Strangers: Prey at Night

Decade later sequels can be a scary thing, some can be awful(Think Sin City, okay it only 9 years) but The Strangers is one that works. Sure most are hating on it, but it is just as creepy as the original. The first is highly suspenseful and gave legit fears, cause unlike zombies, this shit could happen anyday. This one is more of a slasher film, with a killer soundtrack......okay, i'll see myself out. This is the best theatrical slasher in a long time, and unlike the first, which is great, this one is kinda fun. It helps with the colors and music, but you also connect more with the two leads. The gore is plenty, and it is a fast paced film. Horror fans, slasher fans, whatevs, should dig this, I had a blast with it. I'd take a dumb slasher like this over a boring piece of shit like the Phantom Thread anyday. Actually, hold up, the film isn't even dumb, it has heart behind it, plus there is character backstory on display to give it extra meat. It isn't as good as the original, but it is a fun sequel, all i wanted from it!

Friday, March 9, 2018


This is a perfect fucking film. It is stylish, witty, funny, bloody, sexy. It is well acted, well shot, has a brilliant score. Trailers had me thinking Heathers, the first 15 minutes or so reminded me of a Donnie Darko era Richard Kelly(was there another era?) . The film unravels in such away that at first you admire how it is shot, then you are taken back by the script, this screenplay I hope is nominated for best screenplay, it is great, then you are amazed at how brilliant the cast is, and the cast is indeed brilliant. The characters are multi layered even if one, or both are sociopaths, the "antagonist" is a real fucking prick, their patsy you feel for. These are all flared characters, these are all flawed wealthy characters, these are all flawed, wealthy characters that do fucked up things. This film isn't fucked up, but it is brilliant enough, funny enough & bloody enough to deserve to be a cult classic. I hope it becomes one, cause honestly at the moment this is far and beyond everything else i have seen this year. I fucking loved this film, it is perfect.

Thursday, March 8, 2018

Hurricane Heist

Rob Cohen isn't a great director, hell he isn't even a good director but he is a fun director. This here is a fun film, a bad film but a fun film. A decent cast of character actors, in scene chewing roles, in a rednecks save the day(sort of) with a binch of shitty CGI 7 over the top moments. All i really wanted was cheesey dialogue, unrealistic looking moments, such as being strapped to a mall while being sucked through the roof. Phantom Thread? No thank you. Hurricane Heist? Yes please! I could watch & mock this in the future, or just shut off my mind and pop it on. It is a fun film, as i said, bad, but oh so fun!

Tuesday, March 6, 2018

Match of February

1. Gaunlet Match. Roman Reigns vs Seth Rollins vs John Cena vs Elias vs Finn Balor vs the Miz vs Braun Strowman
2. Mustapha Ali vs Jack Gallagher : 205 Live
3. Johnny Gargano vs Andrade Cien Almas : NXT TV
4. Drew Gulak vs Tony Nese: 205 Live
5. Roderick Strong vs Kalisto : 205 Live
6. Will Ospreay vs Takahashi : New Beginning
7. Seth Rollins vs the Miz : Raw
8. Lince Dorado vs Kalisto: 205 Live
9. TJP vs Cedrick Alexander: 205 Live
10. Mark Andrews vs Akira Tozawa: 205 Live

Sunday, March 4, 2018

Death Wish

I love Eli Roth, but each film of his i seem to like less than the previous....until now. I love Death Wish, the originals, and this one i thought looked like shit, but after viewing it, holy hell, what a fun flick! Pure badassery, just Paul Kersey shooting bad guys. Before he goes all vigilante, Bruce Willis was a bit of a chore, as was much of the film, but 15 or so minutes in, it switches gears and the film never stops kicking ass. So many claimed this to be a racist flick, fuck that noise. He protects many minorities, plus most of the villains are white. The film is a perfect companion to the original. Fun film, fast story, great gore, ass kicking good time!

Friday, March 2, 2018

Red Sparrow

John Wick helped get Atomic Blonde made, during production of Atomic Blonde, it is possible it helped get Red Sparrow made. While John Wick is pure bad ass, Atomic Blonde wasn't quite as badass and used a bit more of dull plot points from 90s & 00s espionage flicks. Red Sparrow does the same but increases the blood. This is a bloody flick, but not quite as stylized as Blonde was. The script easily could have been the Black Widow movie or even a sequel to Hannah, but instead it is basically just a contrived & dull story wrapped around a sexy ass Jennifer Lawrence killing people. For what it is worth, the plot & story are on par with Atomic Blonde, but Blonde had better action, not to mention a fantastic soundtrack, this gets Jennifer Lawrence nude. So fair trade!