Years ago a friend told me to play Five Nights at Freddy's, and you know what i did? I never played it. But i thought the figures looked cool, reminded me of the Banana Splits even though i know it was based on Chuck E Cheese. I loved the Banana Splits Movie, but then Nicholas Cage starred in Willy's Wonderland, an awesome and batshit film about a guy that works overnights in an old arcade with animatronics......and that is what i wanted the Five Nights at Freddy's film to be. Instead we got a slowburn that takes too long for the plot to kick it....a plot that felt like they had AI write it, and a film that didn't embrace the camp. Either go all out camp for this or go for an R. Instead it felt like a bad episode of Goosebumps or some shit like that. I wasn't bored, but this being the horror film that is going to blow up the box office is very telling about mainstream horror.
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