Friday, August 26, 2016

Don't Breathe *spoilers*




Fede Alvarez was said to revolutionize horror with the Evil Dead remake, now i have only seen it once, but i hated it. Now he has his new film Don't Breathe, and you know what, this is a tense flick. Three thieves break into the house of a blind vet, they should be the bad guys right? Not when he is a kidnapping, murderering quasi rapist. Rape, oh yes, this film has balls, it has a nutty scene that i applaud, holy fuck they went there and it was glorious. Since i posted spoilers, i will bring it up, jizz, jizz in the mouth! Take that you combat shocked rapist! Now how is the rest of the film, well the blood is good, the tension is well built, and honestly, it is quite believable, the trailer makes you think, damn this is a short not a feature or this is far fetched, but it puts you in the shit and you think, fuck, what would i do in this situation, Matt Murdoch is going to kill me. Detroit is a shit hole, either blind psychos kidnap & rape you or sex demons fuck you to death, and actually i would love to see this and It Follows as a double bill in an empty lot in Detroit, well maybe, i don't want to die. Regardless, this is a damn fine horror film!

Wednesday, August 24, 2016

6 Days: 23 Hours Wrestling

So last Friday was Ring Of Honor's Death Before Dishonor, an event that was pretty damn solid, with the best match being Adam Cole winning the World title from Jay Lethal's year plus reign, long live the Bullet Club(part 1, as they picked up 2 more wins that night as well). Saturday i worked the first event for Now This is Wrestling featuring Vince Russo & Bobby Lashley, with the best match being Aric Cannon defeating Duke Cornell. That same night was NXT Takeover Brooklyn 2.....wow, just wow, what a GLORIOUS event, Bobby Roode, setting up Hideo Itami vs Austin Aries, an amazing Tag Team match, and amazing women's match, and an amazing main event. The next night, not so much, Summerslam was a mixed bag, i liked the ending, it seemed legit, i accept it, the best match is Aj beating up and pinning John Cena, also seeing Balor win the title was huge. Some of the matches were subpar, fine most were, but the good outweighs the bad. Raw saw the debut of Bayley, the advancement of Big Cass, further tease for Jericho vs Owens, a sad Balor moment, and a possible retirement of dem damn Dudleyz. Tuesday's SD was better than Raw, to me their tag division is better than Raw's as is their Women's division, also Slater is gold. Tonight we had NXT with Tye Dillinger The CWC showing why it is the best wrestling program around, and the best ROH in a long time. Fitting that i book ended this week with ROH events. After tonight i am ready to take a break from wrestling until Monday, but i will still be day dreaming about the sport and reading about my passion.

Thursday, August 18, 2016

War Dogs




I was going to do a ranking of Todd Philips flicks but i decided not to, see his career is an odd one. Road Trip was your late 90s/early 00s college comedy, but one that hold up, he upped the ante with Old School, a hilarious film and one of the best Fratpack films out there. Then he got a summer blockbuster offer in Starksy & Hutch, which isn't a bad film, just one that didn't hit all the notes, his next i wasn't a fan of, School for Scoundrels, now was this the end of his career? No, i say it was the end of the first chapter, his second is his more balls out & semi darker comedies, The Hangover trilogy i love, i love every one of them. The first was what a fucked up weekend should be like, i have had plenty, not quite to that level of debauchery but definitely have done some illegal shit in my time, the second gets too much hate for being the same thing, the third is a dark comedy masterpiece in my mind, highly misunderstood, i don't give a fuck what anyone says. In between those last two he did Due Date, a film i admittedly was underwhelmed by but it wasn't a bad film by any means. Now comes chapter 3, one in which he follows the foot steps of Jay Roach & Adam McKay into a more serious type of film, and much like McKay you can see inspiration from Martin Scorsese sprinkled throughout. War Dogs is a great film in my mind, both Miles Teller & Jonah Hill continue to impress, Teller is no longer Cpt. Douche as he was years ago, no that honor goes to Hill, a true piece of shit, but his laugh, holy fuck his laugh, epic, he plays the piece of shit so goddamn well. The satire is there, it shows a lot of the political turmoil of the mid 00's and just how broken the system has become. I would not have suspected this type of film from Todd but holy fuck, he delivered a great one, not quite as good as Big Short but a step in the right direction, would love for him to do a gritty drama next, maybe not quite like Sicario, but in the vein. This also has an amazing soundtrack, they may not fit the decade but fuck it, mid 00's music sucked for the most part(atleast mainstream music). I will champion this film and champion Todd Philips for a long time, i loved this film!It was well written, well shot, well acted, brilliantly scored, I have no complaints with it, now does that mean it is perfect? No, but it is the type of film i wanted it to be and blew away my expectations. I don't want folks thinking this is Scorsese's level, it isn't, but it is highly inspired, i mean fuck i have done stuff inspired by John Waters & Quentin Tarantino but that doesn't mean i am on their level, hell my stuff is garbage a lot of the time, but this film i think will have folks waiting to hate it just because of Philips, put that aside and enjoy his craftsmanship!

Sunday, August 14, 2016

Holidays




*Sigh* I wanted to see this only due to Kevin Smith, but holy shit, it is awful.

Valentines Day
It was a good short, glad it was just a short though.

ST Patrick's Day
Awful pure awful, that is all i will say about this piece of shit.

Easter
Good concept, horribly executed, ugly & dull.

Mother's Day
Boring as fuck, pointless, what the fuck did I just suffer through?  You were not surreal, your were a shit covered tampon!

Father's Day
This one was okay....kept my attention, unique presentation.

Halloween
Sweet jesus Kevin Smith, what the fuck, i like your horror films but you fell greatly from your Askewniverse flicks, this was a vile piece of shit, , no humor, though it tried, it wasn't dark humor it was just trash, and not good trash like Troma, trash like the shit a lot of horror has become these days. Fuck, Yoga Hosers might look bad but this was the biggest piece of shit you have done, yes, worse than Cop Out.

Christmas
This could have been in a better anthology movie, could have been more coherent but deserved better segments around it.

New Years Eve
Good concept, but again, sucked, Lorenza Izzo was the only decent part!

Saturday, August 13, 2016

Sausage Party



I love Seth Rogen, i loved him when i first discovered him on Undeclared, then even more so in his Apatow flicks, along the way he came into his own, he & Evan Goldberg run their own production company and keep giving us gold(well maybe not Neighbors 2). For my money the funniest film in the past 2 years is the Night Before, so i love the way these two write & direct.I know they don't direct animation so they had to hire someone that could, and find animators to perfectly capture the vibe they wanted.....and they did. Sausage Party is pretty much a Pixar/Blue Skyesque production but done Hard R, it captures the tone of those Pixar films to a T, The musical elements are amazing, the wonder of the characters lives & missions, the look, the interaction of bewilderment when crossing paths with a human, all was amazing, except done in an R Rated stance. The film wasn't as funny as i thought, like all the best gags are in the red band trailer, however i still laughed a lot, just not as constantly as i had hoped. The two final scenes for me, were the best, along with the first bath salts scene, that sex scene pushed limits for even a theatrical feature, and it was brilliant. The deaths were fantastic too, i wasn't expecting that much violence, or any at all actually(outside of food deaths). I just wish they went harder for the entire film, but i get what they were going for so i accept it.

Sunday, August 7, 2016

2 Lava 2 Lantula




Where to start? Steve Guttenberg & Michael Winslow wearing cop uniforms? The references to Predator, Star Wars, Poltergeist, Scarface, odd Fast & the Furious jokes(a few), Terminator, Miami Vice, Pulp Fiction(Zed's Dead, my huge mark out moment), Jurassic Park, Dr Strangelove. The chemistry between the actors? The fact you could tell everyone was having a blast? The syfy channel gore that wasn't really gory but just pure fun.....the fact that this was just pure fun? Seeing as how this takes place in the same universe as Sharknado and that Z Nation takes place in the Sharknado world to, i would love for 1) there to be a Sharknado vs Lavalantula flick, and 2) for Guttenberg & Ian Ziering to cameo on that show, both talking about how easy they had it with Tarantulas & Sharks. I hope they do more of these, they are a blast

Friday, August 5, 2016

Suicide Squad




Okay, so Marvel was doing great, they had an organic lay out for their universe, DC tried to play catch up and gave us a cluster fuck that was Batman v Superman, and while that was a cluster fuck, i atleast found it interesting & engaging, something Marvel hasn't done since Guardians of the Galaxy. Guardians is the line in the sand, the measuring stick for Marvel & DC at the moment, and DC just so happened to be doing their own "obscure" character flick in The Suicide Squad. Now i love the comics this is based on, i thought they were kick ass, i am about a year behind, but i am a year behind on most comics, and seeing as how they just released a new number 1(seriously DC comics what the fuck?) i may have to check it out. Now let us focus on the film, i for one respected DC's ambition to do this project, however i felt like they were just doing it to jumpstart the DCU and that it should have waited.....let me go on. I also feel as though they cut the trailer to be like Guardians(i loved the trailer by the way), and that they weren't sure if they should go all R or if they should go for laughs. Well i think it should have been R but it wasn't needed, and the laughs worked just fine, not too many where it became comedy, just enough to have fun with.....oh, here comes his thoughts.

I loved it, honestly DC is ten times more interesting than Marvel, Marvel feels the same with every movie lately(well okay, Civil War & Age of Ultron) but that isn't to say i don't like those flicks, honestly i think Civil War may be better made than DC's offerings but i will take ambition anyday, and that is what DC is bringing us. It isn't a perfect film by any means, the rescue operation that lead no where, made no sense but i didn't care, it was a fun ride there, and a fun ride back, the end, was iffy, and by the end i mean the final battle, my main beef was it felt cheesy, but it felt comic book, and i loved that. I thought all the characters were well developed for the most part, sure Killer Croc just grunted most of the time but that is all he needed to do, the dynamic between Deadshot & Flagg played out well, Katana needed more stuff to do, El Diablo was pretty awesome and Enchantress was just kind of there, she started off interesting but became Gozer, to me the real villain was Waller, what a cunt! Now i want to talk about Boomerang, i hate Jai Courtney, well in most flicks anyhow, in this, i loved him, i thought he stole the show in his scenes, instant fan after this! Harley Quinn i was skeptical of as i didn't want her to be full on Hot Topic, but she was good in it, not quite the comic, not quite the cartoon, but a damn fine film version, and yes, Margot Robbie is a babe! Now i have a Joker shrine in my room, i have dressed up as the character a few times, i love the character.....in this, i don't know, Jared Leto did a good job, so not a knock on the acting, i just thought the gangster rockstar gimmick felt forced, but i did love the mannerism and the way he would laugh while being menacing!

The music was phenomenal in this, perfect choices, the colors, costuming, set design all felt comic bookish, like this felt like the comic book on the big screen, and that is all i wanted, i loved it.....except for the forced Justice League stuff(Dc you have to stop this) let it flow naturally. just make odd flicks, it is working, well for the most part, get tighter scripts. Will there be a sequel? Who knows, honestly i don't care, this is a cool stand alone flick, but i don't know how well it would do as a series, which is most comic flicks problems, villains to carry the film. I prefer DC comics to Marvel's mainly for Batman and his connected series, the films i also prefer, also due to Batman, but i want Marvel to succeed, i hope 2017 Marvel kicks DC's ass, i really do, as they make better films but they need to make interesting films, and DC needs to make better films. It is a great time to be a comic fan for the films at the moment, and i hate seeing people divide the two, i love both, i'm allowed, so are you, embrace both universes, i'm not a Marvel Guy, i'm not a DC Guy, i'm a film guy!