Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Vacation Series

The Griswold family is back in theatres, for the first time in 18 years, let us take a look at the best of the franchise.

1. Vacation
This film is so damn quotable, one of the most quotable comedies there is, and the film has a fantastic pace, this is a perfect comedy film and a staple of 80s cinema.

2. Christmas
This one has charm coming out the ass, hilarious film, and i love the animation sequence.

3. Vacation 2015
I don't get the hate for this, from the moment Holiday Road hit the screen i had a smile on my face and i thought the jokes were hilarious so said smile stayed on said face. Great physical humor, awkward moments and absurd shit ran wild, i loved it.

3. Vegas
This one is stupid as all hell but i love Ethan Embry as Rusty aka Papagiorgio.

4. European
This one is damn painful to watch.

Sunday, July 26, 2015


So i used to loathe SyFy movies, insert some animal here vs animal here, but in the past few years Asylum, another company i used to loathe has been making them fun. Now Asylum did not make Lavalantula however SyFy has been figuring out how to make fun flicks the same time. It helps that this is directed by Mike Mendez director of the brilliant horror film the Convent. This film is full of meta humor, cameos that actually are awesome(Leigh Whannell, Ian Ziering), references that feel like love letters(Predator, Jurassic Park) plus a mini Police Academy reunion. Steve Guttenberg chews the scenery & owns this role, it is over the top, fun, and a great flick to watch with your fellow cinephiles and drink some beers to, hell mock it if you want or just drink, watch & have fun. It is not a so bad it is good movie, it is a self aware monster film that i wouldn't mind watching again. Hell had this been a film i paid to see in  theatres, i would not have been disappointed. If more of these monster flicks are this meta and fun then we are on a good road for the future, at one time i would have passed on directing a film like this, now a days, sign me up!

Wayward Pines

M Night Shyamalan gets alot of shit, his haters are strong, and while i may not be a massive fan, i still enjoy his work. Everyone thinks he peaked with The Sixth Sense but most cinephiles are in agreement his best work is Unbreakable, his next few were spotty with Signs being the only one that seems to not get hate, but as soon as the Happening was released all gloves were off.  The Last Airebender was torn apart by anime fans, Devil(which he didn't direct) was never given the light of day,and After Earth was known as the weak version of Oblivion. His latest film is out next month but the man just had Wayward Pines on Fox, and i dug the show.

It starts off with a Lost esque shot of an eyeball and a man waking up in the forest but it had a great conspiracy factor the entire time. Certain elements felt contrived as hell for sure and some plot points felt like they were making it up as it went along but hey they shoved three books into one season plus the show kept a good tense build up, so neither are a major flaw, plus the acting was good, Terrence Howard was menacing as hell, he did a great job, as did everyone else, and i loved seeing Matt Dillon get a good role, Toby Jones is on a roll plus you had the bombshell trio of Juliette Lewis, Carla Gugino and best of all the goddess that is Shannyn Sossamon. The last few episodes were really damn good, and the finale i applaud, i applaud the death of a certain character since the heroes never die, i applaud the Twilight Zone/Vintage Shyamalan ending of dread. I keep reading people that want a second season, i for one say let it be, it is a perfect non traditional ending.The show feels inspired but Lost, Twin Peaks & The X Files and winds up featuring a very Chud meets I Am Legend like monsters, and it is awesome!


Boxing films are always about the underdog, Rocky, Raging Bull, The Fighter, Million Dollar Baby, sure they may not be the underdog in the ring but they have flaws and personal problems that hold them back. In Southpaw it is no different, Billy Hope(Jake Gylenhaal)  is an undefeated fighter that came from an orphanage, he is married to the love of his life and has a sweet little girl. As shown in the trailer, he loses his wife, then winds up losing his money, his daughter & his manager(to the man that started the events that killed Hope's wife). You really feel bad for him, the dude can be a fuck up but he is trying to improve himself, as usual Gylenhaal delivers a knockout(*rimshot*) performance and is on fire following his best(Nightcrawler). We need the underdog, we don't want a movie about an asshole that has everything in life and nothing bad happens to them, hell if we did many people would identify with him for the most jealous of reasons or people wold begin to hate themselves as they see bit of the character in them. We need the underdog, and boxing flicks are one of the best outlets for this trope.

Pixels: Or How i Learned to Stop Post Modernly Bashing Adam Sandler


     Like many kids born in the 80's raised in the 90's i had a diet of Adam Sandler growing up, i loved his stuff on SNL, mainly via reruns, and seeing his movies in the theatre became the norm.....atleast for a tad bit. Bit parts in Shakes the Clown & Coneheads were the norm for SNL cast members & alumni, but Airheads really helped him out, giving a decent size role. After that, the Sandler revolution was on, Billy Madison was a staple 20 years ago, though saying it ages well it up for debate, i still enjoy Happy Gilmore, and i think the Wedding Singer is underrated as hell. At that time my self & childhood/preteen chums would see stuff like The Waterboy, Big Daddy & Little Nicky would get our money, even if the end result wound up being shit. Those films, in my opinion are still passable, no hate being rushed at them. Then the 00's hit, most of his vehicles were garbage, they were either dull trying to be crude(Anger Management), or crude trying to have a good message(Chuck & Larry). The films he produced were awful, Rob Schneider is a Stapler, derp derp derpy derp, some were enjoyable, like Grandma's Boy, but no one would call that cinematic gold.
           The man can work in good films, mainly Punch Drunk Love, but when he signed on to be the lead in Funny People i thought, okay, this will show the dark life of a comedian, sadly it wasnt, plus the film poked fun at his more shitty films, thus me thinking at the time, cool he is going to go a new route and not star in these films anymore......erm Jack & Jill anyone, which to be fair i haven't seen. In fact most films with his name on it i avoid like the plague, then a film was announced that i had to see. Pixels, now Pixels is not perfect at all, in fact most of the humor is awful, but Josh Gad & Peter Dinklage get the best lines, or rather they know how to deliver their lines. As i have said it is not perfect at all but i believe alot of people are hating it just because Sandler is in it, or more so because it is a Happy Maddison Production, hell i know plenty of gamers refusing to see it for that reason alone. See it for yourself, perhaps smoke a bowl first, that or just wait for dvd, and smoke a bowl first, or fuck it, stream it....and smoke a bowl first. It isn't nearly as bad as everyone makes it out to be.Accept that Sandler makes shit, his demographic is the masses not cinephiles, don't act like your childhood is raped because of the arcade games being featured, it's a popcorn flick, he has done far worse cinematic crimes and their have been far worse rapes on video games in film.

Sunday, July 19, 2015

Judd Apatow Films Ranked

For 10 years Judd Apatow has been directing feature films, and while his glory days of producing every comedy may be behind him as his crew of actors & writers became producers & directors themselves his latest film shows that his days of helming projects is not over by a long shot.

1. The 40 Year Old Virgin
Ten years ago this film brought Steve Carrell, Seth Rogen & Paul Rudd to huge levels of mainstream attention, sure they had been in films that were hits & some folks knew the actors but this broke the glass ceiling, it also helped bring back the R rated comedy to summer blockbusters. Apatow used great forms of improv with his cast and multiple takes to craft a raunchy, hilarious & touching film.

2. Knocked Up
This is around the time Judd started producing Superbad, Pineapple Express, ect, Where s those films kept the touchign aspects along with the raunch & hilarity Apatow's own films became ROMCOMS for huys, this film is written/directed by anyone else would have been sappy & dull, but Judd injects his own style into it perfectly.

3. Trainwreck
His latest he didn't write and he trimmed down the run time and pacing issues but he gave us a film about a characters that can be quite a cunt but made us connect with her. Bill Hader's character is super relatable in this, many of us have been in his situation. John Cena & LeBron James steal their scenes, they have perfect comedic timing, especially Cena. I loved getting Dave Attell & Colin Quinn in a film like this, Attell is just a hobo recurring character but Quinn gets alot of time to do great work in his role. Some scenes & cameos don't make sense(the intervention scene with Matthew Broderick) but the film is easily his best in 8 years.

4. This is 40
He took characters from Knocked Up and built a more serious story around them, Paul Rudd is perfect in it but it isn't the most memorable film of his. Pacing issues definitely hold this film down from being better than it could be, which has been the case with all his films but this(and Funny People) are the top offenders.

5. Funny People
He tried to make a film that shows how tough life on the road can be for a comedian(but was out done by Louie) and a full at the heart strings cancer film(was out done by 50/50). The films features unlikable characters and can be quite dull at parts. I thought the fact that Adam Sandler poked fun at his films was going to be a call to arms and he would step up his game, sadly he didn't(though Pixels looks awesome)

Friday, July 17, 2015

Ant Man *contains spoilers*

Well the troubled production that was Ant Man has finally come to theatres and i enjoyed it, it was a fun & light flick, probably the lightest Marvel has made, not saying their others are super heavy, but in scope they are huge, and not saying this one lacks subtext, it just seems like a film Marvel was like hey, lets just make a fun comic flick. They constantly deliver, and this here is no different, the cast is good as usual, the plot, while contrived, never feels dull. The movie has a fast pace and knows when & how to use humor. Paul Rudd & Adam McKay wrote a fine script, but i wonder how much of it came from Edgar Wright's draft, as it was deemed unfit for Marvel. I really, truly wish Wright had done this, would have been quite epic in my eyes, but then again Wright is my favorite working director, The scene with the Falcon at first felt like a cheap way of having the characters cross paths, but it lead to a heist that was needed but more importantly planted seeds for Civil War. The mid & post credit scenes laid the ground work, and well, it seems to be what Marvel does, they eat the pussy in every flick, every flick is foreplay for the next big one, this being foreplay for Avengers: Civil War, oops i mean Captain America: Civil War.In a way it loses the meaning of the films but in others it makes them strong building blocks for the future, Marvel/Disney knows what they are doing and Ant Man did what it needed to do, it entertained all while setting up Phase 3.

Tuesday, July 14, 2015

Orange is the New Black season 3

I binge watched the first two seasons in a few weeks last year, i finally finished up season 3 the other day, the first half seemed to feel forced and lacked alot of charm however the second half kicked it up. Here is a run down of the main characters and the thoughts of their stories.

Piper kind of became the Walter White of the season(without the chops of Bryan Cranston) by starting up her own business but becoming ruthless(atleast in her own mind), plus her bridge with Stella was awesome as that character was one of the most relatable & likable(and lickable) on the show.
Alex they tried to redeem this season but over all i still find her unlikable. Her stuff with Lolly was pretty decent, but Lolly & Mei next season should add to comedic gold.
Red developed a strong story & relationship with Healy.
The becoming jewish subplot helped give more characters screen time as did Praise Norma. Soso & Poussey's friendship is the best to come from that.
Crazy Eye's being a writer was a nice touch and her mutual crush with fellow weirdo Maureen.
The prison staff debacle brought upon sympathy aswell as some decent dynamics for all the characters in that field.
Daya & Bennett brought upon some raw material that was pretty damn honest.
Nicky's exit seemed highly forced.
Lorna finding a boyfriend had humorous moments.
Sophia & Gloria's feud didn't really no where to go but i think season 4 will expand upon a friendship of sort being built.
But in my opinion the best parts of the season was the friendship of Boo & Pennsatucky.Pennsatucky became a protagonist in season 2 and it was solidified here plus Boo had more material than ever to work with.  It dealt with some good moments of life and some terrible events, revenge & acceptance. 

My prediction for season 4 is now that the main characters all shared in a bonding moment at the end and a bunch of newbies showed up, i think their will be a turf war of sorts old vs new.

Friday, July 10, 2015

Self Less

I like but don't love Tarsem Singh's films, The Fall is how artistic sci fi should be, experimental, weird and gorgeous, much better than the Cell, i dig it but not as much as everyone else does. He has tried more mainstream films but kept it weird, in particular Immortals, I wish it was weirder and the characters had been more developed but it looked cool plus the random ass end of everyone fighting in Valhalla or heaven, whatever it was, was a cool end shot. Mirror Mirror was too much like most modern fairy tales, style over substance, but Self Less i dug. It reminded me a bit of Looper but if Richard Kelly had directed it. Ryan Reynolds is engaging as he usually is and plays the role well, the mix of comedy in a sci fi film does wonders for him the past and does so here aswell.

Ted 2

The first Ted was hilarious, sure it uses his basic tropes and some gags can go on too long but the film has alot of heart, is a funny ass stoner flick and is seemingly a love letter to Flash Gordon and i am a sucker for shit like that. Ted 2 lacks alot of the first but i still had a great time with this one, some bits were flat, and others went on WAY TOO LONG, plus it recycles some of the same stuff from the first but i laughed and had a good time. The brawl at Comic Con was nuts and i loved that, once again everyone had great chemistry and delivered their lines greatly, even if some of the lines were lackluster.

Sunday, July 5, 2015

The Overnight

I am a fan of the Duplass brothers, the films they direct, the films they star in & the films they produce. This here is one of their productions, from Patrick Brice, the director of Creep. The dude shows range in hopping genres but he maintains a slight level of being unnerved in this one.
The film is about Alex & Emily(Adam Scott & Taylor Schilling) a couple that just moved to LA, their kid RJ is playing with Max, Max's dad Kurt(Jason Schwartzman) introduces himself  and invites them over for dinner with his wife Charlotte(Judith Godreche). They drink, eat & soon are tossed into a world they weren't expecting.
The film deals with swinging, drugs, affairs, bi curiosity, sexual inadequacy and finding one's self then accepting one's self. Alex(i find it funny Taylor Schilling is yet again with another Alex) has a body problem, Emily has only been with one person sexually, Kurt & Charlotte and happy yet unsatisfied. Alex & Emily seem to be stuck in college, Kurt & Charlotte are pretty much your typical rich hipsters, yet ones that can poke fun at being them.
I quite enjoyed this, it was charming yet dark at times, and very awkward, the awkward moments work really well and get good laughs.

Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Terminator Franchise Ranked

31 years, 5 films, tons of fanboy debate on timelines, continuity, which films are better, and so many quotes to drop day to day. Why yes the Terminator is back Here is a rundown of how i rank the series.

1. Terminator
To me this is the best made & my favorite. It feels like a straight up horror flick, the score is great & it is badass vs badass in this one.

2. T2 Judgement Day
The film that helped put James Cameron's film ideas on the map, make him a bigger star & make CGI the norm, hell in my opinion the cgi in this, 24 fucking years ago, is better looking that most of the shit we have now. As for the film, it is pure badass, but John's age is a nitpick, but who cares, the big thing this film gave us was constant talk of time paradox. With the machines dead & Miles dead, will skynet continue? Well....

3. T3 Rise of the Machines
This film is super flawed but it is fun, John can be a tad whinny here & there but the flick keeps a decent pace, sure some of the humor is a miss but it is light fair, but it almost feels like a different franchise.

4. T4 Salvation
This one i finally saw for my second time the other day, first time since the day it came out, and you know, i still enjoy it, i always wanted to see a man vs machine war flick, but i just wish it had shown more of the actual war, and alot more machines.

5. Ugh, T5 Genisys
Okay, well i guess 3 & 4 don't exist in this film......cause in 1997 Judgement Day happened, so Kyle goes back in time to 1984 but Sarah is already aware of this, and saves him, cause she was raised by a Terminator. Well instead of fucking in 84 to have John born in 85, they travel to just killed mankind. Wait hold on, Judgement Day never happened, 2017 all is well, except Genisys is about to make Skynet happen. Ugh. The film is not boring i will give it that, it is just mind numbing & a cluster fuck.