Saturday, July 22, 2017

Wish Upon




Well this was a script that felt like it was found lost from the 90s, given to someone to rewrite, they added in some 10's lingo, and boom, we have a shitty script. It is a fun script though, the film is bad, really bad, yet it is not boring. The camera moves, the DP did a good job, too bad the film is not one to brag about. The acting is pretty laughable, but fuck it, watch it with some buddies and mock it!

Friday, July 21, 2017

Dunkirk





Christopher Nolan started off doing small British flicks, Following, then hit it big in the cult circuit with Memento, not a bad way to go, but you better make some money, Insomnia, meh, you can do better.....Batman Begins! Yes sir! Kind of a one for him, one for them thing rocking out, better do one more for you, The Prestige, okay, i am not a big fan of this flick, but his next film for them is a masterpiece, the motherfucking Dark Knight, and you follow that up with Inception? A 1, 2 punch of awesomeness right there. Dark Knight Rises disappointed me but has grown on me and Interstellar really disappointed me, visually it is cool, and it is trippy in look & ideas but it doesn't do it for me, i think he was trying too hard to be accepted by Oscar, and now he has fully become an Oscar Bait director, Dunkirk. It is a good film, a really good film, but it needed to be longer, flesh these characters out. What happens in the film? Not much, in fact nothing really happens, two soldiers hide out, get into arguments with other soldiers, a family on a boat try to rescue other soldiers, an airplane flies around. Honestly the best part of the film was the score, the score is great! Nolan, i like you better with Jokers and Sleep Thieves!

Valerian & the City of a Thousand Planets





This is easily Luc Besson's best work in 20 years, hell it might be his best work to date, yeah, i know there are alot of Fifth Element, Leon, & Nikita fans out there, but sorry, i love those flicks, but this here, wow! From the moment Space Oddity hit at the beginning, to the awesome credits/montage it just kept getting better & better. This is the film Avatar wishes it was, sorry, not sorry, fuck Avatar! The film is gorgeous, i wish i had seen it in 3D, wish i saw it in 3D Imax, wish i saw it in 3D Imax while tripping, the colors are amazing, so much detail in to every creature, spaceship, planet, buildings, it is beautiful! Speaking of beautiful, Cara Delevingne is a sight to see in this, a bad ass and breath takingly gorgeous! Dana DeHaan continues to be awesome in almost everything he is in, and with a Cure For Wellness, the dude is on fire this year, sorry most critics hated your films dude. Can i go back to beautiful again? This film is prisms in the eyes washed out by paint and pussy juice, it is bliss for visuals! Speaking of bliss for visuals, Rihanna, is as hot as ever and has a new aspect to her! So glad to see Clive Owen in a kick ass flick again, also Ethan Hawke, damn dude, you stole the show in your scene! It is like a video game, different levels for different portions of the film, each portion feels different because of the locations, and each location almost has it's own Boss baddie, and every sub plot is tied up. I can not stress enough how beautiful the film is, but it is not style over substance, this is a midunderstood sci fi film that will hopefully gain a cult following, ugh, now i want to read the comic!

Saturday, July 15, 2017

The Big Sick







I love Michael Showalter, i love where he came from, but i haven't loved the films he has directed, until now. Judd Apatow seems to enjoy producing TV/Films about stand up comedians. Sometimes they are way too cringe worthy such as Crashing, and other times they are just a dull film like Funny People. This here, seems more like Sleep Walk With Me and Don't Think Twice, and as good as those flicks were, they were not GREAT, this film is GREAT! The great, up & coming Kumail Nanjiani wrote & stars in this very personal film about family & love. The fact that the main character is based on his real life with(she also co wrote the film) helps drive the heart, and you can tell every line of dialogue in the film means something to him when he says it. Fantastic cast, simple yet heart string pulling story, when the film is funny, it is really funny, mainly from awkward moments of life, but it is super smart in the pay off. This is the best thing Apatow has produced in years, and the best thing Showalter has done since Wet Hot American Summer!

The Little Hours





This film has an amazing cast and a cool concept, it seems like a comedic version of the Devils, yet in a super zany way ala Wet Hot American Summer. Most of the funny moments were in the trailer, so i was underwhelmed by the humor, but it is still a really good flick. Fuck you Dave Franco, fuck you, Allison Brie, Aubrey Plaza, Jemima Kirke, ugh, fuck you Dave Franco! I am joking, but damn, lucky bastard! The flick has a better witch scene than the Witch, and some of the hottest chicks in Hollywood with a super talented cast!

Thursday, July 13, 2017

War For the Planet of the Apes





So the original Planet of the Apes films are some of my favorite films, i rank it right under Star Wars as my favorite sci fi franchise. I absolutely love the series, sure each one may not have topped the last, but overall, they are all great. Tim Burton, fuck you, yours sucks, but luckily Rise of the Planet of the Apes came out, and it was really fucking good. It was a remake of sorts of Conquest for the Planet of the Apes, along came the sequel, Dawn and it was just as good, it was basically a whole new story, so we all knew it was not trying to be the originals, which is for the best. Now we get War For the Planet of the Apes, and this is a great fucking film, GREAT. The dynamic with the apes is great, they are genuine characters, and the subtitles really brings a new touch, as the first half, is basically just them searching for Woody Harrelson. The comedy is funny(Steve Zahn is what Jar Jar should have been) . The film looks beautiful, it is masterfully shot, and shows how good blockbusters can be.There is alot of heart here, human wise, apes wise, everything works. Lots of sweet nods to the originals, the end having their new home sets up the main city from Planet of the Apes, the music is far more in tone with the originals, hell even if it wasn't a nod, it still sounds great, plus the coolest easter egg of all......NOVA!

Sunday, July 9, 2017

Baywatch




The trailer for this looked hilarious, the reviews were awful, it took me a couple months, but i finally saw it. It is bad, but not terrible, the Rock & Zac Efron are good in their roles, and have chemistry, but it is so poorly edited that it comes off as awkward. The script is awful, it has funny lines, but the timing is off. Regardless i was entertained.

Okja








                                                                                                                                                                In 2007 I saw Joon Ho Bong's The Host and it blew me away, and it is a kaiju that truly gets better each time you see it. So i checked out his other films, all were very different, but then along came Snowpiercer, and holy fuck, that is a masterpiece of comic book/sci fi cinema in the last decade. I became super stoked for Okja, and the film does not disappoint. Great acting from Tilda Swinton, Paul Dano, and the lead, Seo Hyun Ahn, but the scenes are stolen by Jake Gyllenhaal, he is fantastic in this as the charismatic villain. ALl the notes are hit, it pulls at the heart strings, it has awe & wonder, it makes you think, and it is super stylish, and very fucking cool.

Friday, July 7, 2017

Spider Man Homecoming





The Sam Raimi Spider Man flicks have wonderful villains, great actors in  the roles, and great performances in said roles. Mark Webb's Spidey flicks had great villains and great actors yet the performances were off. Jon Watt's had a great villain, a great actor and a great performance. You see the sides of the villain in most Spidey flicks, and there is the conflict with in them. The Raimi series had great supporting characters with J Jonah Jameson, the Webb flicks did not, the Watt series, thus far has some really fun characters. Raimi had awful love interests and terrible performances, Webb had the opposite of it, Watt's is in the middle, Lisa is so so but MJ is the shit(no, not Marry Jane).Tobey Maguire was terrible, Andrew Garfield was amazing, Tom Holland is pretty fucking good. Where as Tobey was a stereotypical nerd, Garfield was a true version of what a Spidey fan would be, semi awkward, around the popular crowd, yet cool around the cool peeps. Holland, is a lost underclassmen, and he plays it well. The soundtrack was awesome, thw nods were well done, honestly, i am stoked for the Spidey Verse that crosses the MCU.

Wednesday, July 5, 2017

The House





Will Ferrell is not that funny, pre Anchorman was a good time, Anchorman is brilliant, as it his other McKay films, small parts like in Wedding Crashers & Zoolander, fuck yeah, a film about a casino, um, this could have come out in the 00s along with Blades of Glory & Semi Pro, atleast it would have been relevant.

Tuesday, July 4, 2017

King Arthur



Guy Richie is an odd one, Lock, Stock & 2 Smoking Barrels was a solid debut, he then made a even better film with Snatch. He met Madonna, hit a rough patch with Swept Away and tried to reclaim his crime roots with Revolver but failed, and with RockNRolla, which was a decent film, but then he became a blockbuster director. I only saw the first Sherlock Holmes, but wasn't a fan, Th Man From UNCLE i was bored to tears with, and i was with King Arthur too. Visually it looked cool but the film did nothing at all for me. I will keep my King Arthur with Monty Python!

Match of June

1. Cody Rhodes vs Christopher Daniels ROH: Title Best in the World

2. Kushida vs Marty Scurll TV Title: Best in the World

3. Okada vs Kenny Omega IWGP Title: Dominion

4. Matt Riddle vs Keith Lee World Wrestling Network Title Evolve 87

5. Zack Sabre Jr vs Matt Ridle  Evolve 86

Book of Henry





I wanted to love this film, i wanted to adore this film, yet Collin Trevorrow's return to small scale filmmaking simply failed. I wanted another Safety Not Guaranteed, i mean, i know the plot wouldn't be the same, but a film where you leave and think, wow, this guy has it. Perhaps balancing Jurassic World and Episode IX was too much, i loved Jurassic, so perhaps his talent is in blockbusters. It has a great cast, yet all the roles seem flat. It is oscar bait, yet oscar bait so needy that it tries so hard and fails that recovery is damn near impossible.

Phoenix Forgotten




Back as a teen, i think i really would have loved this, as a kid i loved the UFO Abduction specials on FOX, as a teen i read up on that shit online all the time. I wish this film was great, it is fine, but that is about it. The acting is meh, the plot is forgettable.

Rough Night





Take a great ensemble cast, take the Hangover, add in a female twist, drop it in Body(amazing horror film, look it up) and then take away the brilliance of Body, the humor of the Hangover(fuck you, i like em) and then watch the cast do their best to make it work. Thankfully it has a good cast, it isn't very funny, yes it is dark humor, but i love dark humor, and part of it is, not everyone can do dark humor, but even if you could, it still may not have worked. It is worth the watch, but it is not one i really liked.