Thursday, June 30, 2016

The Purge Ranked

This is a brilliant concept for a film, but so far none have taken full advantage of the premise, with the latest out, here is the ranking for this trilogy.

1. Anarchy
This was one of my favorite films of 2014, and i wasn't a huge fan of the first, but the trailer looked awesome. This had a story with characters you can connect with, had political & social commentary, and showed batshit antics from the Purge. Plus Frank Grillo played Frank Castle so fucking well.

2. Election Year
A direct follow up the Anarchy, this one uses a bit more political commentary but the story is not as strong and the Purging is not as cool. The characters are a lot of fun though and the gore is pretty heavy, a few really awesome moments.

3. The Purge
Instead of showing outside a lot, they mainly made with a home invasion film of House Lanister.

They need to make a fourth one, have it set the first year, people are timid to break laws, but just have 10 minutes of self conflict and 80 minutes of various people purging balls to the wall.

Sunday, June 26, 2016

Silicon Valley

This show just keeps getting better and better, it is easily the best written, wittiest and most quotable sitcom on TV, dare i say only second to Mr. Robot. Some episodes will make you tear up with laughter, others will make you cringe at fuckery going on, some like the finale, make you feel good for the little guys getting a win. I see the show maybe going 5 seasons, and when it is all said and done it will be known as one of the all time greats!

Game of Thrones

Well, i nearly gave up on this season, it bored the fuck out of me, then the last 4 regained my trust, each getting better & better, toss up between the last two i suppose! The Nights Watch/Wildling/Stark vs Bolton story had the best cap off of the series, that battle was amazing, the backing of Snow set up season 6 perfectly. Arya started off in a boring angle but quickly became super captivating and her seeking vengeance on two people was done in perfect Arya fashion! Did the HOund need to return? No but atleast we never saw him did *cough*Glenn*cough* . Cersei bored me up until the finale, and now we have a unruly ruler again, and the one that was truly in charge of our last unruly ruler in Joffrey. The Greyjoys, Tyrells & Martel's backing Daenery's is setting up some fantastic battles for next year. Bran's flashviews possibly paid off at the end if book rumors are true, the death of Hodor didn't have much of a payoff in terms of tears for a fallen friend go however.

Orange is the New Black

Well OITNB improved alot over season 3, the first two were solid, 3 was super spotty, but to me this may have been the best season yet. Piper went from head honho kingpin to a Nazi gang leader to her old self, Voss, Lolly, Red, their storyline carried out all season and the pay off worked well. Sophia's storyline took a backseat but we needed that to show how fucked the prison system can be. Crazy Eyes had a roller coaster of a year, both her fucked up flashback, and what she was forced to do behind bars. The divide of whites & Dominicans was a bit of a rehash but it paid off well with unity against the prison guards. The role they had this year was stricter than usual and at times uneasy, especially those last few episodes, The start of season 5 will be nuts, now to wait 12 months and see what happened, and unlike Walking Dead, the cliff hanger works here, it fit the vibe of the episode with its fade into the final on screen moment of a happier time for a fallen inmate!

We need Ruby Rose!

Saturday, June 25, 2016

ID4 2

20 years ago the 90s got their definitive alien summer blockbuster in Independence Day, it is pure popcorn but it hold up, i brushed off my VHS the other night and had fun with it, is it a masterpiece? Ah hell no! Is it fun? Sorry Will Smith i must go all Steve Austin, Oh Hell Yeah! The sequel, well, the first is good popcorn, this one not so much. It is still fun popcorn and a easy 2 hours, but as a film, it has problems the attack is too abrupt, characters die that you forget died cause you don't care about em, shit happens for no reason. Jeff Goldblum & Brent Spiner are the best parts, Bill Pullman is pretty good too, the battles are clunky but these guys are having fun, and the audience should have fun too. I am glad Will Smith wasn't in it but i wish that Mae Whitman & James Duval were in it! If you just want a fun alien flick, then check it out, if you want They Live then watch they live, if you want 2001 then watch 2001.

The Shallow

Well.....the Shallow, it starts off really well, and build up tension damn well throughout the flick, but it loses steam about half way through, it regains it but alot of that has to do with Blake Lively. Never thought i would say this, but, she does a good job here, and she carries this film, almost entirely by herself, and holy hell, i never realized what a breathtaking beauty she is until this, but then again, i dig the surfer chick look. The end of the film however starts getting cliched and contrived, especially the shark payoff, super cheesy. This is in the same boat(rim shot) as Open Water, but honestly, if i want a shark movie these days, i will watch the SYFY channel, that or a little film called Jaws!

The Neon Demon

I was thinking of doing a ranking of Nicolas Refn's work, but instead i feel that it would be best to look at escalation. I first became aware of Refn after Bronson hit dvd, i rented it and fell in love with it, then along came Drive, and it came in my eyes, like semen everywhere! Was hooked, so i watched the Pusher flicks, yep you can tell that is early Refn for sure, Valhalla Rising was spotty and didn't really fit with his films but was still solid, but i held Drive in such a high regard that anything that followed would be on top my anticipation list, and that film was Only God Forgives, and it let me down, it looked gorgeous but it felt like style over substance, but perhaps now, now perhaps, i might just have to rewatch it, as Neon Demon was amazing. Like it feels as if there should be a bridge film between this & Drive, and that alone makes me want to revisit OGF, now on to the main event, the Neon Demon! Wow, just wow, this flick looks gorgeous, it is set decorated, costume designed and make up driven up the ass, lubed up with glitter, fucked on satin sheets and climaxed under a strobe light! Elle Fanning, this is your coming out party, one she is super beautiful in this, and two, she goes from naive & innocent to a smug bitch really well. Jenna Malone does her best acting possibly ever, Keanu Reeves plays a totally different character than usual here and does it perfectly and in a small role at that. The score is easily the best since It Follows, it is very John Carpenter & Goblin inspired. The film reminds me of Dario Argento, not just the color scheme but the way the characters are portrayed and the way the tension is built, a tad bit Roman Polanski aswell. Pair this film up with Black Swan and take some shrooms, float down stream and enjoy this brilliant piece of cinema!

Tuesday, June 14, 2016


Take Jurassic Park sans the dinosaurs, add in zombies, however take away everything that makes a zombie a zombie and instead have rabid animals, have Asylum be your production company but on a new level of bad writing and bad acting, and you have Zoombies. Syfy flicks, The Room, Birdemic, all look like solid gold compared to this.

The Houses October Built

I have worked around haunted houses for about a decade, most workers are nice, but there are indeed some that you just want to smack. Why? Their idiotic views, their assholisms, and alot like to scare just to scare, and that is seen in the Houses October Built! The film is legit creepy, the found footage works well here, sometimes contrived but effective none the less. The characters are all relatable and you fear for them when being stalked, the stalkers are creepy as fuck in this and the atmosphere goes along way, this could wind up being a cult classic!

Friday, June 10, 2016

The Conjuring 2

In 2013 James Wan did a 1 2 punch of Insidious 2 and The Conjuring, and I found the first Conjuring to be a masterpiece, everything worked in it, it was legit freaky, well crafted and had a damn fine soundtrack. The sequel was announced I was weary but when Wan signed on, all was well. The spin-off Annabelle was a let down, would the legit follow up he the same? That it was not, I didn't love it like I did the first but it was better looking than most theatrical horror films these days, it still,maintained the freaky scares and still had good music. This one felt a little less subtle about the scares as the haunting was more in your face, but it balanced it out with more humor than the first, my favorite bit involved a 70s camcorder. I hope Wan still does horror and doesn't stick to blockbusters after Aquaman as he has a gift, a gift he shares. He is a modern horror master!

Saturday, June 4, 2016

The Lobster

The Lobster is one of the more unique films out there, you don't find love, boom, we turn you into whichever animal you want to be, great concept, and a damn solid film. The film speaks volumes on modern dating, especially online dating, the questionnaires plus just damn settling for beneath you or lying to get into the status quo. On top of that it shows those that get rejected or reject love and the walls they themselves put up and judge others upon. It shows a bleak future of conformity and one that almost brings folks back to white picket fence 50s, with a tad more hedonism tossed in. The film does drag at parts and could of used trimming here or there, but otherwise it is a good flick, i think it will find an audience on Netflix!

Friday, June 3, 2016

The Bourbon Whiz

Take the Wizard of Oz, add sex & drugs, place in in New Orleans and use stippers, crackheads, street performers & taco slingers at a gay club, and you have The Bourbon Whiz, really that is it! I wish i could say more, but just go to YouTube and watch it, it is worth the hour, yes it is cheap, but it looks better than my films. This is not a film for everyone, but if you have a culty, twisted mind, watch it, i thought it was hilarious!

They Look Like People

It saddens me that this film went under my radar but happened to play at the Omaha Film Festival last year, but oh well, the time you see a film doesn't matter, the product does, and this product was great. Are there aliens/demons/monsters what have you taking over? Who knows! Is it all in ones mind? Could be, the film lets you decide! It is a monster movie without any monsters, accept for when there are, see the film, you will know what i mean! In some ways this reminded me of The Battery, one of the best zombie films in recent memory! The way it is shot, the characters, the dialogue, both would make for a great double bill!


So this a film that i had read about but never really needed to see, a buddy of mine dug it so i decided i should watch it soon, then the director Mike Flanagan was tossed around to director the new Halloween, better watch it as soon as possible. After viewing it i can see why he is a font runner, this film knows how to be tense, knows how to use shadows, and knows how to use a small cast and simple location, much like John Carpenter did in 1978. Now i am not saying this film is on Halloween's level, but this is one of the finest crafted horror films i have seen in a while, atleast since It Follows, which to me is another heavy Carpenter esque film.

Thursday, June 2, 2016

TMNT Out of the Shadows

Okay so it is well known that i love the turtles, i have since i was a baby, i was born in 87, right when Turtles hit mainstream popularity, and for 10 years, they were my shit. Then that awful live action series happened and the rest is history...or is it? I watched some of the 2003 cartoon, and it was pretty cool, then i loved the 2007 movie. The 2013 series, meh, too kiddy but i do hear it has awesome references! Then came the 2014 film, and well, i was let down by it, i mean the original movie was awesome, it was a PG version of the comic, the second one, was basically them attempting the merge the comic & the cartoon, and the third, well, the third is a piece of shit. The fourth was like the cartoon but wasn't dumbed down for us late teen to early 30s guys that loved the series. The 2014 film felt like they were capitalizingon the super hero genre but just made a by the numbers film, i will rewatch it soon to see if it has changed. The sequel however, holy shit, i thought it was awesome! This is how a Turtles film should be, the action sequences weren't kiddy, they were fun, the villain wasn't campy(well Baxter was, damn you Tyler Perry) and it had stuff for adults but was still light & fun enough for everyone. It felt like a true Hollywood edition of the cartoon but with a crew that studied the comic. This had Bebop & Rocksteady, it had Krang & the Technodome, it teased that we will see Baxter in his fly form, yes the film needed more Shredder but i think the third one might be super batshit, especially if they embrace the weirdness of the universe and its characters. Honestly to me at the moment, i think this is my favorite superhero film of the year!Like no joke, i had a blast with this film, i think if you truly love the Turtles you will enjoy it, don't go in wanting to hate it cause of Michael Bay, go in open and think, hey this is an improvement on the first, and if you liked the first, well no problem, you will like this one!