Argylle

Well Mathew Vaughn has been slipping ALOT lately. At one time he was the director i championed and thought i would always love. Layer Cake is solid, as is Stardust, Kick Ass is kick ass, as it First Class and Kingsman. Then along came the Kingsman sequels, which were either forgettable or just a chore, now we get Argylle which is the biggest chore and one of the dumbest films i have seen in some time. DOes this want to be Austin Powers? If so go for broke. But instead this wants to be over the top Kingaman but PG13 and with a romance, neither one is a bad thing but here it just comes off as silly. The acting except for John Cena is wooden, phoned in and uninspired. The only scene i got a kick out of was the ballet esque hallway scene shooting the pink & blue bombs. Otherwise this film was torture. 

Book Of Clarence

 I loved The Harder They Fall, it was a perfect western. I was so stoked for The Bullitts next film, especially hearing it was a take down of Christianity i was sold. While LaKieth Stanfield is amazing as usual and i did love the satire, i ultimately found this to be a chore to watch. The plot had promise but i was bored. It had humor, maybe if they leaned a bit more into camp, but they did this artfully.....just wish Book of Clarence was a Book of Brilliance, 

Monster Mash

 I usually pass on Asylum Pictures, i love Sharknado, Z Nation shit like that, but their mockbusters are just beyond awful. Now we get Monster Mash, not a mockbuster but it is indeed beyond awful. Michael Madsen once again lowers his filmography this time as Dr. Frankenstein, the bad guy that must be stopped by the universal monsters. Monster Squad this is not, hell this feels like Full Moon and that is a big step down the loony bin known as Asylum.  

Ricky Stanicky

 Ricky Stanicky feels like a Farrelly Brothers film, and it is, well it is a solo Peter venture, but it also feels more like a film that wants to be the Brothers Farrelly. It is gross out, and does so moderately well, but the plot is contrived and most of the acting feels very cookie cutter, except for John Cena, as usual knocks it out, but even then the heart the film implies to have is no where to be seen. Coming off of Green Book and The Greatest Beer Run Ever it is a real step back for Peter but it is a real step back for comedy that seems to be missing these days...except from John Cena, seriously the dude kills it in comedic roles. 

Road House

 

Road House is truly an in name only sequel. None of the same characters, not the same bar, nor is it the same plot, the characters here feel very 90s straight to video, the plot feels very streaming....so it is fitting this is on Prime instead of theatres, This is wooden acting in a dull film with choppy fight scenes. Be nice....that's about it. 

Sasquatch Sunset

 Well Sasquatch Sunset is easily the weirdest film of the year thus far. Let's take Jesse Eisenberg & Riley Keough and out them in sasquatch costumes....make them speak no dialogue, just grunt, fuck, use the restroom and learn about death for 90 minutes. It's tedious at times, funny at others, gross for the most part, but oddly heartfelt. 

Resident Alien s3

 Resident Alien season 3 didn't pack the punch of the first 2, and the finale had almost too much plot going on, but hats off to them for making this bonkers ass episode work!

Abigail

 Matt Bettinelli Olphin & Tyler Gillett do it again with Abigail. This might be a loose Dracula's Daughter film but it stands as it's own thing and greatly. It is a perfect double bill with Matt & Tyler's Ready or Not, an ensemble cast, dark humor & blood all around. The cast here works perfect, they are given depth in quick time and we see various sides of the characters. The humor doesn't derail the human aspect or the horror, it just feels real. The horror is a mix of classic horror mixed with post 90s in the know. This has already been a fantastic year for horror and this might be the best of the bunch thus far, toss up with Late Night With the Devil. 

The Beekeeper

 The Beekeeper starts off kind of interesting, a Rambo esque quiet man that is friends wit ha lady that cooks him meals, she is scammed so commits suicide, then he seeks revenge. There are some sweet kills but after the first 45 minutes this turns into a John Wick rip off, not only in terms of kills but in sets(the neon), lore(the deeper Hive/Continental) and characters(rich douches). Jason Statham's character becomes unreasonable and his end game feels a bit antagonistic. 

Match of March

 Hammerstone vs Josh Alexander 

Drive Away Dolls

 Wow, solo Coen Bros are 0 for 2 at the moment. Tragedy of Macbeth was a bore and Drive Away Dolls is a mess, waste of a cast, overly hammy moments, cringey acting and facial expressions, over acting, a almost faux neon noir vibe, forced sex scenes. I never thought a film with this many hot chicks i would find dull in the sex scenes, hell alot of the scenes....and the film in general, remind me of I Was a Teenage WereBear, it's that bad. It dragged ass, then at the end it just...ended......sure a very Coen thing to do but this was just lazy. It was just awful. 

Night Swim

 Night Swim shows that Blum House Productions have truly fallen off their glory. It's like Insidious meets Twilight Zone only not as great.....in fact it is quite laughable and cringe at times. The plot is contrived and the effects look cheap, all around it is very dull. I aw this days ago and already forgot most of it. 

Gidzilla X Kong

 

Godzilla X Kong is truly the summer blockbuster to Minus One's art house. The film isn't needed, but really has any Godzilla film been? Well these are insanely expensive films that are treated like Avengers, and let's face it even those films are dead. It's as if we are supposed to love returning characters, instead we are mainly forced to be with them. The battles are pretty choppy, the stuff with Zilla was just a place holder to give him scenes, the human plot was a device for Kong and the Kong angle....just didn't make sense. Let him face evil Kong, befriend toddler Kong, lead a revolution, get frost bite, get a new robotic arm, make friends with Zilla, use ice Zilla as a taxi and pet all while the other Kongs move rocks....lots of rocks. This film made no sense but it was dumb fun. But seriously, stick with Minus One. 

Bray Wyatt: Becoming Immortal

 Bray Wyatt: Becoming Immortal, might not be the best WWE doc, i do love the more documentary type of promotion WWE does for their Peacock flicks as opposed to the Network, but hose Network docs, and their DVD docs will always be king. Watching the Wyatt one though is a punch to the gut, seeing how loved he was, and what a mind for the industry he had is something we all knew but watching it here it really speaks volumes as to what he could have been and could have become. 

Lisa Frankenstein

 Lisa Frankenstein is an insanely cute & charming flick. Kathryn Newton continues her string of great roles and she is awkwardly perfect in this. For PG 13 it pushes the blood, has a wicked dark sense of humor and macabre, not to mention the great soundtrack. 

Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire

 So many films get slimed on unfairly, is Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire a perfect film? Hardly. But is it alot of fun? Damn right. The plot might be repetitive and not all the jokes land but the cast is having a blast here and guess what, the characters bust ghosts....it's all you need. It's not perfect Ghostbusters cinema but it reminded me of the Real Ghostbusters cartoon, and in that capacity you get a fun ride! 

Late Night With The Devil

 Late Night With The Devil is a super refreshing horror film but one that also feels familiar. It is probably the best possession film in over a decade but it doesn't slap you in the face. It unravels as we watch it but it is never a slow burn, it's fun and funny without derailing the plot. For fans of WNUF Halloween Special, this is a perfect film for a double feature. Daniel Dastmalchian as usual knocks it out, an all the supporting cast serves their parts well. Everyone knew what type of film they were in and that makes for a perfect Halloween gem. 

Hundreds of Beavers

 About a month ago i became aware of Hundreds of Beavers. I saw the trailer when the local art house Film Streams announced they'd be playing it. It looked bonkers, i had to see this modern version of Buster Keaton meets the Looney Tunes. And that is exactly what it was.....only it lacks the humor of those. I chuckled here and there.....well mainly smirked with a "Heh"  but the joke ran it's course super quick. In fact they repeat jokes way too often here, this could have been a 45 minute short but instead it is an hour and 48 minute feature. This was a one night only showing, and the 166 capacity theatre was sold out, in fact i bought the last ticket. This? This of all movies is what brought out all the hipsters? Not just that but the boring dental art old people that want to feel cultured. The theatre management encouraged audience participation, and they were shouting as if it was their first time viewing it, the "midnight" vibe felt super forced. The crowd felt as if they were fake laughing all night but they surprisingly gave a huge round of applause at the end. I got as as quick as i wish this had ended.  

Match of Feb

Dragunov vs Trick Williams: NXT Title: Vengeance Day

 Wolf Dogs vs Tick Melo Gang: DUsty Cup Finals: Vengeance Day 

Gunther vs Jey Uso: IC Title: Raw 

Match of Jan

Josh Alexander vs Will Ospreay: Impact  

 Cody Rhodes vs Nakamura: Raw 

Womens Ultimate X 

DIY vs JD & Dom: Raw 

Womens Royal Rumble

Self Reliance

 Self Reliance has a great premise, a likable cast, a cute romance, but a totally choppy script. Jake Johnson runs with it as the lead, in his own film. It is jumbled but honestly it adds to the downward spiral he goes through. It still very much feels like a Hulu film thoughm kuje a fun one time watch that i honestly feel the most memorable part is Bill Wiff and Anna Kendrick. 

Skeletons in the Closet

 Shudder films have reached Full Moon levels with Skeletons in the Closet. This not only feels cheap and looks cheap but it feels like a porn with out the sex only it thinks the plot is actually scary and deep......only it doesn't bring the pretention, it feels like it wants to be Full Moon, it is an odd bag. Terrence Howard cowrote this and stars in this and......this is just a sad film to be apart of in any capacity. Wooden acting, bland script, hideously shot. Glad i am taking a hiatus from Shudder this year, mainly just for vacation purposes, but still! 

Dario Argento Panico

 Panico the documentary on Dario Argento is well executed and features interviews with highly respected and highly educated filmmakers, peers & fans of Dario. While i don't love every film of his i atleast admire them all, while i didn't love this i atleast admired it. 

American Fiction

 So i still haven't seen Anatomy of a Fall, Zone of Interest, or Past Lives, but i crossed off the 7th of 10 Oscar nominees today in American Fiction. I would say along with the Holdovers, Iron Claw & Barbie, this is the year's best. Save only Paul Giamatti for the Holdovers, Jeffery Wright gives the years best lead actor performance. Sterling K Brown also deserves his nomination even though i still give the edge to Mark Ruffalo for Poor Things. While i still will root for Poor Things and Barbie for best adapted screenplay, this here just feels like a perfect choice for the award. It isn't a raw film but it feels like a 90s indie at times, it also isn't afraid to push buttons and show some edge. So glad Dundee extended this for the week after last week's weather. 

Fargo S5

 Fargo season 5 might be the best yet! The entire cast was phenomenal, it oozed style and comedic darkness, some genuine shocks and some super tense moments.  I'm glad this isn't a yearly series because we would truly be spoiled! 

Ted The Series

 Ted the series still has alot Seth McFarlane's tropes but it might be his best work. A prequel that feels like the Goldberg's, albeit the 90s, and adds in a bit more social commentary. It has raunch & heart, alot more heart than the films and the cast knows how to balance the two.

Monarch: Legacy of Monsters

 I love Kaiju films, last year's Minus One was one of the best Kaiju films ever. We live in a time where Toho can produce their old school greatness, and WB/Legendary are giving us some tasty candy with the MonsterVerse. Legendary & Apple have teamed for the latest chapter in the MonsterVerse, Monarch: Legacy of Monsters. It's a slow burn but you get to know characters and begin to see two sides of the coin with how things are ran and if heart or money speaks more for the cause. Kurt & Wyatt Russel both play the same character but in different decades and they nail it. We only get glimpses of monsters this season but the final episode truly teases what is to come. This was the jumping point, season 2 will be the ramifications. It will be interesting to see if there is more of a time jump to catch up with the films. It is far from a perfect season, and it dragged quite a bit at times but if we can stomach MCU TV for films we can do the same here! 

Destroy All Neighbors

 I don't know what i watched but i didn't watch neighbors get destroyed, instead i watched a man unravel, kill some neighbors, and form a band......the film is Destroy All Neighbors and it is the most Troma esque Shudder film since Fried Barry. It is bonkers, colorful and crass and makes for a perfect Friday night viewing. 

Lift

There is a blizzard outside, i just watched Friday and F Gary Gray has a new film on Netflix. Lift is an ensemble heist film with wooden acting, unfunny jokes, a contrived plot and feels like your basic Netflix fare. Basic is putting it nicely, like your average Kevin Hart vehicle it is quite unwatchable.