Sunday, September 5, 2010

Machete...plus a mini review of Burning Bright...plus a fun surprise in Centuion

So i rented Burning Bright the other night, i'm not devote a whole post to it i just wanna say this, it is what it is, it's about siblings trapped in a house with a tiger while a dangerous storm is going on outside, there's another character who has villainous tendencies but is way under developed to care about, the whole film is a jumbled mess.



Then there is Machete, a film that i enjoyed but i was disappointed by. You all know the amazing fake trailer, the film follows Machete(Danny Trejo) while he SET UP, DOUBLE CROSSED and left in a house fire by Torrez(Steven Seagal). We pick up years later where he is a day laborer,and an illegal immigrant, he gets and offer from Booth(Jeff Fahey) to assassinate the George Bush esque Senator McLaughlin(Robert DeNiro), only to be SET UP, DOUBLE CROSSED & LEFT FOR DEAD. He winds up in a hospital ran by the Network, a group to help spanish papis & mamacitas, ran by Luz(Michelle Rodriguez).Helping her are nurses played by the Crazy Babysitter Twins & Dr. Felix from Planet Terror! He escapes and runs into an immigration agent, Sartana(Jessica Alba) who at first wants to take him in, but decides he was wronged and needs to help him. Together with the Network they face off against Lt. Von Jackson(Don Johnson) and his "vigilantes". Peopel turn on each other and guts are spilled butthe first hour or so wasn't the film i wanted, it felt more like Desperado, which i'm a big fan of, i just wanted it different, the last half hour is pure Tromaish bliss.



I also saw Centurion, and i'm not a big fan of Neil Marshalls other films, i think the Decent was his best but i found it a tad overrated. Centurion, is actually a pretty fun yet very messy film. The editing could've been alot better and it feels like it could've used a trim but it was fun, the first 10 minutes is really fun, but then the next half hour is super slow. It picks up though with the group of Roman soldiers on the run Warriors style from a wicked chick, Etain(Olga Kurylenko) who seeks revenge for what romans did to her family years earlier. It's a sword & sandals flick but with fuck bombs & dick jokes.

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