Sissy

 Sissy on Shudder is quite insufferable. Forgiveness of bullies, betrayal of friends, obnoxious cancel culture warriors, all as the victims. If if a satire, it still doesn't work, as the lead, a tormented influencer, is basically who she is killing. It shows how painful society is and how damn annoying contemporaries are. The kills happen fast and boils to a climax, but i didn't care if the final girl lived or died, and the killer became too unhinged too fast. I will give credit to the swerve ending as well as the gore in final kill scene but everything up til then made me want to give up social media. 

DC League of Super Pets

 I get it is meant for kids, but the writing in League of Super Pets truly seems to not care for lore and punch us in the face with who characters are. I don't know if we needed title card introductions for all of the Justice League, but it is a good idea for kids i suppose. On that note it is a bit like watching a kid play with toys cause alot of character traits are ones you would hear from someone guessing what a heroes powers are, or they do blatant jokes about past DC films that shouldn't be referenced as they disrespect those films, Morgan Freeman, but i get it, kids might not understand so poke fun for the adults.....It's cute but it is a chore. 

Resident Alien season 2

 Once again Resident Alien proves to be one of the all around best shows on television. It continued its hilarious yet heartfelt story, while never derailing the drama and human aspect. The characters have layers and strong connections, and you love the town as a whole. While the first half of the season rushes through the events from the first season's finale, the second half of the season almost began taking the show in a new direction,  odd at first but by time this years finale happens you see why this is one of the best sci fi series out there.

Miracle Valley

 Miracle Valley shows that not only was Greg Sestero the actor of the Room but he is also the best director to come out of the Room. This is an atmospheric horror film that feels like a 00s straight to video film, in the good way. It begins to fall apart about 20 minutes in, but it is still hella entertaining throughout. It becomes very much a cluster fuck at the end, but i still salute Greg for a fun flick. It's bad, but it's not the Room bad....but then again i love the Room. 

The Munsters

 I loved the Munsters growing up, i actually preferred them to the Addams Family for a while. Rob Zombie i also grew up loving, and when he entered film he knocked it out of the park with his second film, The Devil's Rejects. Since then his career has been on the decline. I didn't hate Three From Hell but it was forgettable. Him doing the Munsters.....could have been......well great in aesthetic back in the 90s with his music videos but instead it is catered at the "spooky" crowd that loves Zombie & Tim Burton no matter what and worship Hocus Pocus. It is forced in the color palette, full of unfunny jokes, and the acting is beyond cringe. I didn't mind the concert song in a rockabilly sort of way but hated everything else. There was no plot and when it was finished i was glad it was over. This is not Zombie's worst film but i'd say close to it, though most of his films are pretty bad. The end credits deserved a better film. 

Orphan First Kill

 When Orphan came out in 2009 i thought it had a brilliant twist ending. Sequel talks were always spoken but then the prequel was announced.....and a date was given but it came with little fan fair. Then the release happened and it stirred some attention. I didn't find it needed but those that saw it enjoyed it. While it is not bad, it is quite jumbled. The plot is contrived, and casting a grown up women to play a character she played 13 years ago....a dwarf character....a dwarf character pretending to be a child.....is a bit much, even with digital de-aging. The plot is super contrived but i will give Orphan Kills its props in terms of....kills. There are some brutal ones. It's a mess but it's entertaining. 

Raven's Hollow

 Raven's Hollow might have been effected to me not feeling well but i was struggling to keep interest in this one. It looks great and has solid acting, but period horror is hit & miss, and this missed for me. I found the pacing to be a snails pace, the tone was atmospheric but bleak in a bland way. Shudder was on a great roll, and while this isn't bad, it is just a Shudder flick. 

The Cursed

 The Cursed i saw most of a few months ago in theatres but was not able to really enjoy what i was watching. There was a guy in the back row that was super suspicious and my buddy & i decided to split about half way through cause we feared for our lives. It was at a theatre at a mall with alot of shootings and this guy was pacing back & forth, laughing hysterically at noting and talking to himself. The film i wasn't invested in enough for the risk so we split. Winds up the film itself definitely is not worth it as i was quite bored watching the rest on Hulu. 

Meet Cute

 Meet Cute is a cute yet contrived time travel romance. It is hot tub time machine but as a tanning machine. Both Pete Davidson & Kaley Cuoco are charming in this, but the love story is so repetitive and only a few times do the events change cause of said time travel. The ending is quite sweet but it feels like a future unwritten for atleast one, if not both characters. One night can be amazing, but it doesn't mean a lifetime. 

Harley Quinn

 I honestly didn't even know last week's Harley Quinn was the season finale. It felt like the finale but online i saw the first 2 seasons were 13 episodes, and saw no mention of this being the last, so thought it was not. Alas today i see it was, and while the first season was a bit of a chore as you had to get used to the humor, season 2 found itself, season 3 however was quite spotty, it took a few episodes to get going, much like the first season, but once it found its stride it was awesome. The finale wasn't very satisfying, sure it left you wanting to see what happens next and as i said, it felt like a finale, but it just felt rather weak. Still a fun & fast show but with all the troubles at Warner Discovery i fear for this show. 

Vengeance

 So BJ Novak has always shown he can write, but now with Vengeance he shows he can direct. It is a witty script with a bunch of quirky characters and a plot that feels right at home with 90s backwoods crime films. There is some strong Coen Brothers influences here. It also feels like a documentary at times, which is telling for how well constructed the story is. It shows two sides and much judgement can be passed in any situation and deconstructs modern ideas of the media and fame. Add in a few shocks and this is a hell of a captivating film. 

Do Revenge

 Seeing that Maya Hawke was going to be in a dark comedy set at a school for the elite gave me Heathers vibes. Mix in the social commentary and it has a bit of Assassination Nation. Well it is a bunch of rich elitist entitles self indulgent characters mixed in with modern Gen Z wokeness but it is all a bit insufferable. The plot is everywhere, the characters are unlikable and the twists and contrived. The humor is not there, and it is modern "dark humor" aka not dark humor. I will say it has a great soundtrack though. 

Flux Gourmet

 Flux Gourmet, the latest from Shudder, is another step in the right direction. IFC films release, oozing in style both from a directors standpoint and the sets & costuming and delivers solid acting through a weird script. It is pretentious as fuck but it sort of works here due to the subject matter. A collective records the sounds of the culinary arts. For those that attend alot of galleries these are people we all know, some we are highly annoyed by, some we find fascinating. That is this film in a nut shell, annoying yet fascinating. 

Pinocchio

 Disney does is once again, they made a cute film that remade a classic animation but about midway through it lost it's steam. Tom Hanks overacts so damn much in this, the plot is everywhere and so much of the dialogue is cringe. I feel Zemeckis is made for this but he missed, Del Toro is going to have a different approach and i feel it will be closer in tone to the fairy tale is can truly be. 

Pearl

 Ti West made my favorite film of his in X, it is his masterpiece. Secretively he shot Pearl at the same time. While X is down and dirty exploitation, Pearl is much more "A24" if that makes sense. It is a more beautiful film, the sets & costumes ooze color, it feels artsy and a bit more of a 30s film that a 10s film, while feeling highly inspired by Italian cinema. It is a slow burn all caried by Mia Goth, and she knocks it out with a chilling performance. The final act much like House of the Devil, is when hell breaks loose. It didn't quite match X but it's still a worthy prequel. Now Maxxxine is one i am super stoked for! 

Clerks III

 So my favorite film since i was 14 was Clerks. Kevin Smith became my spirit director as a teen and Clerks 2 was the perfect book end when i was 18. Alot hated Jay & Silent Bob Reboot but for me it was a gift for the fans, and it was cinematic bukkake of the Askewniverse. Now we have Clerks 3 and this was my most anticipated film since Clerks 2 sixteen years ago. While Reboot was one of my favorite theatrical experiences because of the sheer buzz in the air, this here felt different, this was not just the Askewniverse, this was mother fucking Clerks. The love i have for these static ass flicks knows no bounds and the opening scene hit me hard, just out of pure joy. The film is hilarious , the film has heart, instead of Empire Strikes Back we get the Mandalorian, and the celebration of filmmaking alone is inspiring. Seeing scenes from the original remade with the same actors playing those characters playing themselves was the best shot for shot homage since the Disaster Artist. I can't properly even discuss this film unless it has been seen, so i'll leave it at that. Thank you, Kevin Smith for this saga of films that has always been there for me! The relatability has always been uncanny! 

Men

 Alex Garland's Men is easily his most low fi film but in turn it is also his most tense and creepy. It starts off in a very classic horror way, a girl in a strange house in a strange city but it unravels into insanity. The suspense piles up and the characters begin to get under your skin all before it becomes an LSD laced fever dream of what the fuckness. It is one of the weirdest and darkly surreal films since Darren Aronofsky's Mother. Much like Ex Machina and Annihilation, Garland continues to flip expectations. This is niche as fuck cinema  but it is cinema i wish i had seen in the theatre. 

Dog

 Channing Tatum's directorial effort, Dog seems like it could have been a sappy 90s or 00s level animal flick, but luckily with the directors Tatum has worked with he has learned great lessons and crafted a road film full of heart, humor and quirky characters. There is some great satire mixed in here and it's an easy to watch feel good flick. Hopefully Tatum challenges himself as his film career continues. 

Cobra Kai Season 5

 The fifth season of Cobra Kai starts off fast but then it slows down. The couple episodes wrap up a few loose ends and then we get alot of character development, all done to perfection. That is when it stops slowing down. The last couple episodes go full speed and take the show about martial artists that get into over the top fights and fully transitions it into a kung fu actioner. The final episode is in tone with the season 2 and season 3 finales of an all out war, except this time it is not just fists, it is life & death and we get the bloodiest season yet. As usual there are heels & faces with plenty of tweeners but we also see the creation of a monster. Hopefully season 6 wraps up everything as it seems the characters & plots destinations are coming to a close. This is also one of the most quotable seasons, and that shows how great these characters are.  

Saloum

 Saloum is a pretty damn solid action horror film. It is cerebral and tense, with a group in what could be a 2000s actioner but add in elements that remind me of the Darkest Hour and we get a Predator lite film that is never dull. One of Shudder's better foreign titles, and a welcome change to their usual flicks. 

The Invitation

 The Invitation gave away alot in the trailer but the concept was still intriguing. The film itself moves at a snails pace but it has a super likable lead in Nathalie Emmanuel. The plot from the trailer doesn't even seem to start until the final act, before that it is just exposition. The dinner scene had some decent imagery, and the "escape" with the elderly couple had promise but didn't not. A supposed vampire film it ignores mythos all while not even creating its own. It is a boring mess with a rushed ending, what the fuck moments of sloppy filmmaking and an final scene that feels like a tacked on stinger. 

Who Invited Them

 Who Invited Them is one of the better crafted, innovated, and tense Shudder films. The plot involves a bunch of unlikable characters being unlikable and bonding with each other. It is two couples staying up late and partying, only one of the couples is a bit more suspicious. As the story unravels we discover their origin story, their past crimes and the set up for the climax. Solid acting and direction make this another worthwhile effort from Shudder in the recent weeks. It lags a bit at times, yet oddly flows well, and as i mentioned the characters are not likable but you still want to see atleast one survive. 

Elvis

 I am not huge on Elvis, there are some songs i do enjoy but ultimately his tunes never spoke to me and it always feels very touristy, like people thinking they are into rock n roll while at the casino. Baz Luhrmann is a director i admire, i feel his musicals are beyond stylish. I kind of wish this was a full on musical, cause compared to other bio pics like Rocketman and Bohemian Rhapsody it feels weak. It is stylish, oozes style, and looks gorgeous but the plot is every where, it feels jumbled, rushed and incoherent. The cast almost feels to be sleep walking. All in all it felt like a chore to finish, and one i am glad i waited for streaming to view. 

Three Thousand Years of Longing

 Three Thousand Years of Longing might be George Miller's best film. Yes the Mad Max series are still my favorites of his but this may just be his best display of craftsmanship. It is easily his weirdest, most beautiful and most whimsical. At times it feels like a Terry Gilliam picture, from the tone to the pacing. Idris Elba and Tilda Swinton deliver as always but Miller is the one truly unhinged here. Fury Road was over the top exhilarating cinema with the gloves off, but here it has no rules. This could easily be a double bill with Everything Everyone All At Once as their weirdness, beauty and whimsy match each other perfectly. Also seeing it at the Dundee theatre was all i needed as i have not been in about 3 months, granted it was their micro cinema but it was the perfect cinema for a film like this! 

Match of August

Theory vs Ziggler 

Lashley vs AJ 

 Drew vs KO