Sunday, July 11, 2010

Birdemic







So as many of you know, i love the Room, i did an article on bad movies, i enjoy bad movies, but there are multiple layers of bad movies. Birdemic resembles a Sy Fy original movie, but worse, with Sy Fy you get what you paid for, well you get what you knew you getting since you didn't pay, well technically you do pay for cable, unless it's illegal, moving on....sy Fy has had some pieces of shit, real pieces of shit, but SyFy is in a category of it's own, much like Asylum, and i hate Asylum. Alot of the films on SyFy are about killer animals, but not all killer animal flicks are bad, look at classics like The Birds or Jaws, or even the Jaws riff, Piranha, hell Piranha 2 even gave us James Cameron, but alas there are bound to be some stinkers, i'm not a fan of the Anaconda series but to me those aren't so bad they're good, they're just bad. THen there is Motha Fucking Snakes on a motha Fuckin Plane, which alot claim to be so bad it's good, and while it's certainly not a masterpiece, i enjoy the film, and not because it's bad, i just enjoy it, hell i even decorate my halloween scarecrow skeleton with snakes and even added an "enough is enough" banner one year. Then there are bad movie classics like Plan 9 From Outter Space, Troll 2 & my favorite, the Room, but you can tell with the directors that they were passionate about them, same goes for James Nguyen, whiel he may not be an Ed Wood or a Tommy Wiseau, he truly loves film, especially Hitchcock, so he did a tribute, a shitty tribute, a shitty tribute that film geeks have been treking to at midnight, and yes it is a piece of shit, and yes it's a ton of fun.

It's about Rod(Alan Bagh) who drives around alot, and is creepy in his attempts to get women, especially Nathalie(Whitney Moore), who he knew in high school but was too shy to ask out. They fall in love, go to dinner, dance(lol great scene), meet the mom, and see an Inconvenient Truth, so they decide to fuck one night, but instead of knocking boots at their own places they got to a hotel, and the shit gets real. Birds invade! They stay in one spot, flapping their wings, luckily they can't break glass if a window is protected by a bed, our heroes leave, and meet up with Tony & Susan(Colton Osborne & Janae Caster) who own an SUV and guns, guns with near infinite ammunition, they even stand back to back to back to back attackign the birds with hangers but when they're right in front of them they don't even hit, the cgi was added so bad. Together they save lil kids, go shopping Dawn of the Dead style, and attempt to rescue folks on a double decker bus, and this my friends is where the birds become bad, if they hadn't been already, victims stand there and just take it, one is shot and explodes green slime, when birds are shot, the people shoot first, then the birds are hit, seconds later, as if by a different bullet, or they just drop with no gun sounds. We then learn by a tree huger who fears mountain lions that the birds only attack those burning oil and in cars and other global warming...warnings, so i guess i'd survive, go carless folks! The birds then fly away at the end, sometimes flapping, other times gliding, but always in the same spot. The cuts are horrible, the dialogue is pure shit, and the direction & sound is beyond horrible, but it's definitely fun to watch. Would i own a copy? I own Plan 9, i love the flick ,i own Troll 2, i lvoe the flick, i own the Room(i won it), and ubber love it, but Birdemic idk if i could buy, maybe if i had people over intoxicated it'd be nice, but to me, this is a film to see at midnight, my crowd went nuts, people were high fiving, cheering, clapping and jumping up & down at the "chaos" on the screen. I may check it out again while in San Diego!

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