Sunday, August 9, 2015

Fantastic 4

So Roger Corman tried to produce a version in the 90's, and well it was terrible, look it up online. Then Fox produced two in the 00's,  well they were awful, only saving grace is the Silver Surfer, but that was even pushing it, that is like saying the second time you puked was better than the first time. Well since that time, the Marvel Cinematic Universe has taken off, and Fox wanted to cash in to create their own universe....the results, are fucking AWESOME, i mean come on, Days of Future Past was the shit, Quicksilver? Badass! Oh then Fox decided to have the Fantastic 4 join the ranks.....oh yeah, fuck you! God this sucked, Miles Teller was decent in the first half, then he seemed lost in the second. Toby Kebbell as Dr. Doom was interesting, too bad his vilain aspect was rushed, as was his final battle. I mean come on, the plot was fucked, how did Sue Storm get affected but no one else there did? Why did Reed become a huge pussy? Why was that subplot even brought in? Doom killing folks Scanners style, okay, i dig it, but him just wanting to go back to the other dimension? Let him, for all we know he may not have been wanting to suck Earth there, if they did address that in the film, then okay, it would still feel forced. The clobbering time line? Which one? Both, ugh the 2007 scene with Ben's older brother was stupid, the line the Thing gives when he punches out Doom was fantastically weak. You know what, this would be cool, have David Cronenberg make a body horror version of the Fantastic Four....well maybe not, but someone should, someday. Would never get greenlit but come on, body horror yo!

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